In Your Eyes
by Lucy Donovan
Summary: The hardest decision Draco ever had to make was between what was right and what was easy, especially as he stood to lose everything…


The characters in this story are taken from J.K Rowling's Harry Potter series. No copyright infringement is intended. This is inspired by the song 'Drop In the Ocean' by Michelle Branch and the lyrics are used throughout. I don't have enough money to get sued!  
  
Mild slash warning.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Love took me by the hand  
  
Love took me by surprise  
  
I never expected you to love me.  
  
I hoped for it, prayed for it, wished for it. But I never expected it. I never allowed myself to really believe that you could love me.  
  
Before you there was nothing. No hope, prayers, wishes or expectations. No love. No you. Nothing.  
  
Love led me to you,  
Love opened up my eyes  
  
I never hated you. Never. I need you to know that. It was always an act. Even when you refused my friendship and humiliated me, I didn't hate you. No one had ever rejected me before. So I pretended to hate you because then you couldn't reject me and hurt me again.  
  
I never thought I would fall in love with you. I never thought that just catching a glimpse of your untidy, dark hair in the crowd would make me happy because I simply knew that you were still alive. Knowing that you could be killed any day, that was the reason I sought you out. I thought that maybe you might listen to me and accept my warning. I thought you would be a good listener and you were. You even believed me. And after that you were my friend.  
  
Seven years of my trying to make your life miserable at every opportunity and all it took was for me to be honest. Of course it wasn't as simple as one conversation. It took more than that, but still, I couldn't believe it. I thought you had to be some kind of saint! I didn't trust it completely at first. I thought you might be trying to trick me. But then I realised that it was real. And that it wasn't because you were a saint.  
  
It was because you're you. Harry. You see good in people, sometimes even when it's not deserved, and you trust them. You trusted me when I told you about Voldemort's plans even though we'd been enemies for so long.  
  
And I was drifting away  
  
Like a drop in the ocean  
  
Until you became my friend I was unsure. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know how to get it. I was scared. I couldn't give up my family. I didn't want to disappoint my father. I was a Malfoy. There were expectations of me. I had a role to play and a space to fill in the Dark Lord's circle. I couldn't desert that. I had nowhere else to go and no one to turn to.  
  
But then I had you. I knew what I wanted and you gave me the courage to do it.  
  
And now I've realised  
  
Nothing has been so beautiful  
  
As when I saw heavens skies  
In your eyes  
In your eyes  
  
I chose my side.  
  
No turning back, life or death, easy or right, you or them, good or evil. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, going to Dumbledore. But I looked at you, and into your eyes, and it was possible.  
  
You've always said how strong and brave I was, deserting my family and the dark side; putting myself on Voldemort's wanted list. But I wasn't brave or strong. It was you. You gave me strength. Wow that was clichéd! See what you've done to me, Harry? I sound cheesy! And look at that! I can't even call you 'Potter' anymore!  
  
And every time I drift away  
  
I lose myself in you  
  
So many times I've nearly regretted my decision. Then I thought of you and regret was impossible.  
  
You made me realise that I couldn't hide anymore. I couldn't just hope no one would notice me and let me continue without choosing something.  
  
Or someone.  
  
And now I see I can be me  
  
In everything I do  
  
Now I can act like myself. I don't have to hide behind a mask around you anymore. I don't have to pretend to think the world of Voldemort and give the impression that I dream of killing people and answering to his every beck and call  
  
I can be 'Draco', not just 'Malfoy'.  
  
'Cause I was feeling as small  
  
As a drop in the ocean  
  
I was just swept along with what my family wanted. No one cared about me. Except you. You lifted me clear from the tidal wave of fear and pressure to float freely.  
  
Look, Draco Malfoy, Former-Death-Eater-In-Training writing soppy metaphors! See how you've changed me.  
  
And now I realise that  
  
Nothing has been as beautiful  
As when I saw heavens skies  
In your eyes  
  
The world is so much clearer now. Sharper. Simpler. You made me see what's good in the world. You introduced me to hope, to love. You were the first person to ever care about me.  
  
I'm so lucky. Everything could have gone so wrong. I could have ended up forced into servitude to Voldemort through family loyalty. You would have hated me, despised me. We would never have had this beautiful time together. I would have looked into your eyes and seen all the disgust and hatred I was used to seeing over the past seven years, only it would have been magnified and irreversibly cemented into your gaze whenever you glanced at me. And it would have been even worse, because I would have deserved it. I would have been cowardly and weak. Before when you looked at me like I was nothing, I could comfort myself with the fact that it was just an act and that I hadn't made any decisions.  
  
In your eyes  
  
Now, however, when you look at me I see your eyes fill with affection and love. Your eyes have so much expression and show all your feelings so honestly that sometimes it's painful. To see your eyes light up with joy and tenderness when they meet mine is almost too beautiful. I would never have believed that something so wonderful could exist just because of me.  
  
Love took me by the hand,  
Love took me by surprise  
  
And when you first told me you loved me. I was stunned. I still am deep inside, that anyone could love me. My own parents didn't love me. I always thought that was my fault and that if my mother and father didn't love me, then who else could possibly want to? But you did.  
  
You took my face in your hands and whispered the words so softly they were almost swallowed by the wind. I felt such a rush of emotions that I couldn't speak, my voice overwhelmed by the flood of joy and affection and love.  
  
And I was drifting away  
  
Like a drop in the ocean  
  
Those words drew me out of the chaos I had been living in up to that point. They gave me something to hold onto and embrace. You gave me so much.  
  
And now I've realised that  
  
nothing is as beautiful  
As when I saw heavens skies  
In your eyes  
In your eyes  
  
At that point your eyes were liquid emotion, the most amazing sight. Just one of the many things you've given me.  
  
In your eyes  
  
I love you, I wish that I could tell you that. I want to give you as much as you've given me and so much more. I just hope that I have that chance. Just hope that I get to see that look in your eyes many more times. That you can see that same look in mine.  
  
In your eyes  
  
Another thing you've given me is hope. And I'm not going to lose that. Just like I'm not going to lose anything else you've given me. Not you, not your love, your friendship, nothing. I've seen hope in your eyes as well. I'm not going to let Voldemort take that from me. I'm not going to let him take *you* from me. He's already taken so much.  
  
Just come back Harry.  
  
In your eyes.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
A/N.  
  
The song used throughout is called 'Drop In The Ocean' by Michelle Branch. I just looked at the song lyrics and they inspired this story! I started writing and it just flowed! This is the first fic I've ever actually finished so I'm happy!  
  
Thanks to my beta, Amy, and thanks to you for reading this far down the page! 


End file.
